Written by Mr. Mouseburger 4th Jan 2007

Kindly submitted by Kooshmeister

The uncle of Sylvia Van Buren, Pastor Matthew Collins is on hand when the Martian war machines beginning emerging from their impact crater after being surrounded by the US Army.

While inside the command tent, Pastor Collins is quite enlightened for a religious American though and, instead of trying to denounce the existence of the aliens, he wonders why Colonel Heffner doesn't try to communicate with the aliens first, and then shoot later if it becomes necessary.

Haffner rightly ignores this "commie talk", and so Collins, dejected, goes outside.

He explains an inquiring Sylvia, "No real attempt has been made to communicate with them, you know." This is not strictly true, but then again, no one knew about the three idiots who tried to make friends with the Martians in an earlier scene and got themselves vaporized.

Collins thinks the Martians, as living beings, have just as much right to survive as Earthlings, and so takes it upon himself to try and talk to him. He does so by taking out a copy of the Bible and walking towards the nearest Martian vehicle, reciting a lengthy prayer which probably should have been the last rites, as anyone with half a brain can see what is coming.

Sure enough, the Martians set back human-alien relations by training their heat ray on the minister and firing, burning him to death instantly. Looking on, Sylvia screams in horror, and Colonel Heffner orders his troops to fire on the Martians thus beginning the war of the worlds.