Written by Mr. Mouseburger 9th Jul 2005
Salim's plans for the Crimson Jihad have been dealt a blow when Tasker's irritating little sprog steals the key to the control panel that arms the nuclear devices. Following a rooftop chase, she is about to fall when Tasker appears below her in a Harrier (VTOL plane) and she lands on the nose cone.
Salim is not going lose his quarry so easily though and he jumps down onto the plane, draws a knife and tries to stab Harry. It proves difficult to control a plane while fighting Salim and invariably Tasker ends up backing the plane into a skyscraper. This results in Salim being flung backwards, where he has his crotch crushed by the tail of the plane.
Salim takes a stab at mid-air hand-to-hand combat / Salim regrets not going private for his vasectomy
However, it does mean that Salim is next to the gun he dropped earlier. Picking this up he walks up the length of the plane, and orders Tasker to land it or he will shoot Tasker's daughter. Tasker looks at his daughter and makes an eye movement, indicating to his daughter to hold on as he is going to tilt the plane. Salim, with nothing to hold on to, loses his balance and slides down the wing of the Harrier.
Lets all do the Jihad Shuffle: a hop to the right, a slide to the left.....
Statistically he should have fallen to his death, but that is not a "Hollywood" enough death for this villain, and so the strap of the gun gets hooked over one of the sidewinder missiles on the Harrier's wing. At that very moment Tasker notices the helicopter with the remaining terrorists in it. He looks at Salim, then back to the helicopter. This is either a) a Hollywood visual effect to make the audience pre-empt what is going to happen, or b) Tasker's painfully slow brain working through the opportunity.
With the terrorist dangling on a missile, Harry decides to "wing" it.
With the words "you're fired" (I kid you not, he really does say that!) Tasker shoots the missile at the helicopter. Salim has no choice but to fly along for the ride (screaming) and we watch as he and the missile hits the helicopter, resulting in a nice explosion high above the urban sprawl.
Salim likes to unwind from a hard days terrorising by indulging in the latest craze in extreme sports