Written by Old Bluffer 29th May 2009

(Spoiler alert - this is a new film and well worth the price of a cinema ticket, so if you haven't seen it yet I'd advise you don't read on)

Marcus is the real muscle in the group of bullies that made Darren Mullet's life at the school so miserable. Tall, strong and athletic, he nevertheless lacks the qualities of low cunning and sheer bastardness that his best mate Bradley possesses, so he's not quite the top dog.  In practical terms, this means that if you're a little weed at their school, it's likely that Marcus will be the one pinning your arms behind your back whilst Bradley punches you, safe in the knowledge that you can't fight back.

Prior to his imminent violent murder, Marcus is training with the school football team. He's been receiving regular mobile phone death threats from the supposedly dead Mullet for days now, and Jez and Sophie have already died, so he is understandably freaked out when he suddently spots the undead Mullet glowering at him from afar.

Clearly agitated and babbling about seeing Darren Mullet, his antics cause the miserable, weakling-hating PE teacher to send him off in disgrace for an early shower.

Next time you're showering your naked, vulnerable body, imagine glancing round and spotting Darren Mullet glaring at you whilst meaningfully gripping a wet towel.  You'd probably not be quite as brave as Marcus, who does make a rather bold effort to attack the zombie equivalent of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.  He is quickly forced backwards though, with a crisp series of precision towel flicks that would garner the approval of any self-respecting shower room bully.

Marcus howls with pain as the soggy material cracks like a whip against his chest, eyes and love spuds.  Groping around for something, anything, to defend himself, he manages to find a cricket bat and begins to fight back.

Now Darren has been imbued with several useful abilities in his undead form. He is stronger than he was in life, and his dead flesh can't really be physically hurt - but that doesn't change the fact that he was never a fighter. Marcus on the other hand is a capable brawler, and is maddened by terror and pain.

Zombie or not then, after an unanswered combo of cricket bat attacks to the head, Mullet keels over backwards, defeated.

Marcus isn't gloating though, as he is far more concerned with the agony in his eye.  Peering into the steamed up mirror he sees that it is grotesquely protruding from his face, like a juicy haemorrhoid waiting to be popped. This is not something that a young stud like Marcus is prepared to ignore, so he wastes valuable seconds easing the prolapsed eyeball back into the socket where it belongs.

This is all the time that Mullet needs to get back to his feet and resume his assault.  Marcus has had enough by this point though, as while he's not the smartest of lads, even he realises that if a solid battering with a cricket bat isn't going to stop Mullet, then now is the time to leg it to safety.

So, with a panicked rush, he scarpers out of the changing rooms, bollock naked, into the main school.  He is briefly delayed by some of Justine's nerdy girlfriends who assume he is trying to rape them, but he has no time to dally, and sprints as fast as he can outside.

Now astute readers will have noticed the "Chase" category above, and will be wondering how this can be possible. As previously noted, the two main distinguishing features of Mullet are his bulk and his asthma, so there is no way he is going to be able to run down the star of the school football team.  Remember though, he's not quite the typical zombie and does have a few unique abilities.  Most useful of these is that he can seemingly come and go as he pleases throughout the film. So, he's more of a ghost who can manifest at will as a zombie.  This is poor news for Marcus, as it essentially means that it doesn't matter how fast he runs, or where he goes, Mullet is going to catch him.

As it happens, Marcus gets as far as the school railings, which are tipped by vicious looking spikes.  This is good enough for Mullet's purposes, and he appears behind the bully to lift him up and hang him on the iron fence.  The spike that he uses pierces up underneath his chin, and emerges from the top of his skull, covered in splinters of bone, copious amounts of blood and an obligatory amount of brainal gloop.

Later in the movie Justine finds the website that the bullies used to upload their favourite Happy Slapping abuses of Mullet, and we see the gang cornering their chubby victim in the shower, with Marcus mercilessly towel flicking him while the others taunt him.

Old Bluffer's Thoughts

Unless I am missing something, this death is unusual, as it is the only one that can't be reasonably pinned on Justine. All of the others are rather cunningly planned for the express purpose of making her look guilty, but maybe Mullet just couldn't resist getting retribution in wet-towel form, so put his master plan on hold for this one special killing.

I have to say I liked this scene a lot, and admit I was desperately hoping Mullet would turn up with a towel (what this says about me I'd rather not analyse too deeply!).  The iron spike is not very original, but the towel flicking elevates the death into something memorable.

Marcus suffers a whole lot of pain and prolonged fear before he dies too, which a few of the later killings lack.