Written by Old Bluffer 29th May 2009
(Spoiler alert - this is a new film and well worth the price of a cinema ticket, so if you haven't seen it yet I'd advise you don't read on)
Jez is a minor player in the group of kids that routinely bully the anti-hero of the movie, Darren "Shrek" Mullet (q.v.).
He is the kind of teen that blings himself up to the max, adopts a fake "street" accent and fancies himself as the coolest kid in school. In reality of course he dresses like an absolute tool, and has no real friends.
Despite this he somehow manages to exist on the periphery of the in-crowd, and has been invited to the ironic "wake" that the bullies are throwing to mark the suicide of their favourite victim. (He has probably only been invited as they know he will DJ for them all night and they won't need to talk to him).
The party has not long started and Jez is already drunk on alco-pops and is being a mouthy little shite. Slagging off the not-long-dead Mullet is fair game, and even expected by the rest of the bullies, but when he interrupts his set to mock Justine's entrance he has crossed the line. That is because Justine has been invited to the party by Alexis, who in the complex school teen hierarchy outranks him in the same way that an iPod Touch would beat a portable CD player from Lidl.
Immediately the Alpha Bully, Bradley and his right-hand man, Marcus, intervene to put the lowly Jez in his place. Instead of seeing the danger, Jez just mouths off and is literally booted out of the party.
"Suck my titties!" Marcus shouts, in reference to the comedy novelty breasts he is wearing (he is not known for his rapier-like wit), and hoofs Jez into the swimming pool with a solid push kick.
Soaked and humiliated in front of a pack of jeering peers, Jez decides to restore his wounded ego by taking petty revenge on Darren Mullet one last time. He does this by going to the cemetary and pissing all over his grave.
If he'd known Mullet had risen from the dead as a zombie-esque Revenge Killer he probably wouldn't have gone there at night. Mullet is of course waiting for him, and pulls a convenient wooden crucifix with a sharpened base from the soil to use as a weapon. As Jez sullies the grave the crucifix stake is rammed through his back and out of his belly - that's the last piss-take he'll ever make.
Old Bluffer's Thoughts
This is definitely one of the weaker deaths of the film, I've only included it for completeness. Even Mullet doesn't seem to really have his heart in it, but it's his first killing and he soon becomes more inventive...
It's worth noting that like all good Slasher Movies, we don't see Mullet in all his glory yet, he is teasingly off-camera.
From a dramatic point of view, this death is probably intended to set the scene for the bullies to start realising they are being bumped off one by one. Mullet even sends them numerous threatening picture messages on their phones during the party (from his old phone, which they all have the number for as they used to bully him by texts too). This doesn't really work though as the bullies are in the main too stupid or arrogant to be overly concerned at the violent murder of their DJ. It's only after the killing spree is well underway that they start to realise their days are numbered.