Written by Mr. Mouseburger 25th Jun 2007
Writeup loosely sketched by Jack
M. Night Shyamalan delivers another completely unfrightening festival of ludicrousness with his alien flick, Signs. The alien invasion force must have been kicking themselves that being so sensitive to something as innocuous as water, they have decided to invade a planet on which water covers 7/10ths of the surface. OK, this is plausible enough I suppose, but you would think that the alien Generals would have given their invasion force suitable protection against this water. Not so, they prove to be less well equiped than the British army!
Still, after some moderately eerie events (like dogs barking at nothing in the field, shadows under door frames and door knobs turning etc.) we approach the end of the film where we at last see an Alien. It really is disappointing, and looks like Posh Spice wearing sunglasses. The alien holds the young son hostage in the house for some reason - possibly to force the family to "take me to your leader" - which is inexplicable, as it is clear that this bunch of hicks have no idea who their leader is, let alone know where he lives.
Still, this action does give Merrill Hess the chance to show off his baseball skills by pummelling seven shades of alien crap out of the intruder before grabbing his brother and fleeing to safety. The poor alien's misfortune is compounded by a glass of water tumbling on his head. This most probably killed him, although we don't see the death.