Written by Old Bluffer 2nd Jun 2005

You have to love this tongue-in-cheek reworking of a Scaramouchian duel.
Montoya's father was a master swordsmith, and was commissioned by a six fingered man to craft a sword of unrivalled quality. He did this, but when the time came to pay, his miserly customer only offered him a tenth of the agreed price. Montoya's father refused and was promptly "slashed through the heart".
Even though he was only eleven years old, the young spaniard instantly challenged the stranger to a duel, but was easily beaten. Rather than kill him, the man slashed a scar on each cheek, to remind him of his failure.
After this, Montoya dedicated his life to the study of fencing, in order that he could seek out the six fingered man and avenge his father. Eventually, after many adventures, he discovers that Count Tyrone Rugen is the man, and it is a somewhat tense scene when he finally encounters him in the castle.

Rugen isn't going to win the coveted "Most honourable duellist in Florin" award this year...


Rugen is protected by armed guards, but Montoya despatches them within a few heartbeats (using a rather nice "boar lunge" on the last one) and then delivers the line he has waited a lifetime say: "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
Rugen is no fool, and can spot a fanatic when he sees one. He formally raises his blade to the en garde position and then spins on his heel and flees like a terrified girl.
During the ensuing chase, he pulls a dagger from his boot and hurls it at Montoya, dealing him a serious wound.

Now that the odds are heavily in his favour, Rugen regains his courage and starts to engage in his favourite pastime - namely taunting a person he is about to kill.

"You must be that little Spanish brat I taught a lesson to all those years ago. It's simply incredible. Have you been chasing me your whole life only to fail now? I think that's the worst thing I ever heard. How marvelous."

Montoya seems to gain strength from his father beyond the grave though, and manages to somehow parry each of the Count's killing thrusts. Gaining confidence, he repeats his trademark line like a mantra, infuriating Rugen ("Stop saying that!")
The end, when it comes, is satisfyingly vengeful. Rugen is pierced in both shoulders, is made to beg for his life by offering jewels and treasure, and is given the same scars he meted out himself all those years ago. Finally Montoya ends his life, thus completing his life's quest. There is no satisfaction in it though, and he is heard to choke, "I want my father back, you son of a bitch".



Montoya demonstrates his "overdevloped sense of vengeance!"



Revenge is a dish best served with a rapier and a Spanish accent!