Draft Death Feedback

I think it might be a good place to talk about Draft Deaths (click here to see them) and what can be done to improve them etc.

Paul Allen (American Psycho) - Good enough for the main site.
The General (Arachnophobia) - See above.
Scud (Blade II) - Again, good enough for the main site.
Drake (Blade: Trinity) - Add Transformation and you're set.
Deputy Brent Frye (Gremlins) - Again, good enough for the main site, even if it's a tiny bit short. (he is a very minor character, though, so that can slide)
George Merchant (Hot Fuzz) - Sorry, forgot to add Ironic and Bludgeoning.
Leslie Tiller (Hot Fuzz) - This is the incomplete version that was accidentally sent went my finger accidentally hit the Return button a bit too early. There should be a second one where it's complete and has a comment on who the killer might be.
Tim Messenger (Hot Fuzz) - Possible Ironic? ("Splat the rat!"
Paige Edwards (House of Wax) - I think a little summing up of the character could be needed here and paragraphs. Other than that, quite good.
Lara Kofta (Kill Buljo: The Movie) - MDDB's first death by g-string. Quite good write-up too. Not really heard of the film, but IMDb confirms it's not a porn film, so...
Wimp Lo (Kung Pow: Enter the Fist) - A little brief, but generally OK.
Mommy Fortuna (The Last Unicorn) - Isn't this one already on site?
Robert Angier (The Prestige) - Good write-up, but I think each death should be separated and properly categorized, seeing as this complies deaths of several different versions of Angier.
1st Mechanic (Raiders of the Lost Ark) - Nice write-up. I think this can go on the main site.
David (Shallow Grave) - Great write-up. Definitely site worthy.
Maleficent (Sleeping Beauty) - Not bad. Worthy of the main site.
Roger (Tamara) - Dismemberment and Revenge needs to be added.
Colin Blythe (The Great Escape) - Why Ironic? Crash could apply, though.
David Lincoln (Waxwork) - Good enough for the main site, I think.
Waxwork - Upload Sir Wilfred, seeing as the write-ups seem to rely on that write-up a bit.
X2 - I'll re-write these a bit. I'm not sure if Jean Grey counts as a death or not, as X-Men: The Last Stand claims she protected herself with a bubble of telekinetic energy (or something like that). I put Former Friends because I originally listed Cyclops as her killer, which is a bit harsh to be honest. Feel free to remove it.
X-Men: The Last Stand - All these write-ups can be replaced with their re-written versions, with less categories (I was new and didn't quite understand them the way I do now)
Scott 'Cyclops' Summers (X-Men: The Last Stand) - Delete, as the updated write-up is on the main site.

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Edited 5 time(s). Last edit at 11/15/2007 03:11PM by old bluffer.

A few comments on my own WAXWORK writups,
1.I guess I forgot the period in Lincoln's last quote: "somebody has to. See you in hell"
2.The guy was just "plainclothes officer", I misread the script.
3.Gemma was probably beaten ("bludgeoned"?) given her lack of visible wounds and the Marquis' modus operandi.

As for the others, a lot have archetype troubles, most are missing, was Paige Edwards really a baddy?

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Bruno! Yes, yes, Lovely to hear from you too! No, no, ze vitness? Do not worry! I haff taken care of ze vitness. Yes, yes. Shoot him? What, ar-are you stupid? No, no I am not going to blow ze plane up! I... haff put snakes... on ze plane.

I did note Lincoln had Radiation when Combustion might be more applicable. By the way, why isn't "somebody has to" capitalized?

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Quote
Matt
I did note Lincoln had Radiation when Combustion might be more applicable.

There weren't any flames, and I've been putting down radiation for regular heat for quite a while, heat is radiation after all.

Quote
matt
By the way, why isn't "somebody has to" capitalized?

conversation scene, carelessness, I dunno

I kind of thought combustion was regular fire, seeing as it depicts a man... sorry, Morph... on fire. The description even says it consists of "Fire, conflagration, heat and scorching". If you lump it under radiation then it kind of make radiation a bit too broad. I mean, if fire is with radiation, then surely Sunlight should count too given it's a type of radiation too.

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Hot Fyzz deaths- Prefect for the site.
Misery Death- a good writeup, perhaps Former Friends?

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The name's Bond, James Bond.
[billtheman.dvdaf.com]

I'm certain Annie wasn't a friend. How many friends do you know 'hobble' each other?

The Misery write-up is, in fact, incomplete. Paul does not knock out Annie by throwing the typewriter on her. They have a struggle, where at one point, Paul shoves the burnt remains of the Misery novel into her mouth ("Eat this, you sick, twisted f**k!" and Paul throws Annie off him, and she accidentally hits her head on the typewriter laid on the ground.

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On Misery, she did care for him at the beginning

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Bruno! Yes, yes, Lovely to hear from you too! No, no, ze vitness? Do not worry! I haff taken care of ze vitness. Yes, yes. Shoot him? What, ar-are you stupid? No, no I am not going to blow ze plane up! I... haff put snakes... on ze plane.

But never would I say she's friendly. She's clearly a psycho, trying to conceal Paul from the police from the start and having rather violent mood swings early on.

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Well, they did get along a little at the beginning..

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The name's Bond, James Bond.
[billtheman.dvdaf.com]

Yippie, my writeup of Dr. Nick is in drafts.

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The name's Bond, James Bond.
[billtheman.dvdaf.com]

I would like to apologize for how brief some of those The Contract write-ups are and that's down to the fact that many of the characters have little to no development whatsoever. You should probably boost out those write-ups with the images in my Photobucket account.

By the way, I noticed Lydel Hammond Jr. wasn't among them. I hope you didn't think I submitted Lydel Sr. twice in error...

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Hmm, I just read the writeup of Lynd from Casino Royale. It's good enough for the site, but I think she should be listed as Ambivalent (Major) rather than Goody (Major) because she betrayed Bond.

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The name's Bond, James Bond.
[billtheman.dvdaf.com]

I just saw you added some blank pages for The Core. Do want me to help with some of those?

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I see Rostov has been added but the entry is blank. WTF?

OB likes to add blank entries then develop them over several days. You'll see soon enough.

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Oh. OK.

Could mention everyone wanted Paige Edwards(Paris Hilton's character in House of Wax to die. And not to mention many a critic (and people I know who have seen the movie in theaters) have mentioned the audience breaking into heavy applause at her death. I have a sneaking suspicion the director was secretly partaking of the guilty pleasure of graphically killing Paris Hilton onscreen.

Finally saw The Deer Hunter. It should be mentioned that as soon, Niro's turn was finished, Nick quicky grabbed the gun and Niro rushed to stop him before it was too late.

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The name's Bond, James Bond.
[billtheman.dvdaf.com]

The Alice Harris death for 28 Weeks Later is already up on site, just under the inocrrect name of Anne Harris.

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