Written by Old Bluffer 29th Oct 2007

Written by Old Bluffer

George Malley is a typical Hollywood idea of a likeable all American everyman. Not smart, or wealthy, but a decent neighbourly fellow without a mean streak in his whole body.

He lives in small town, rustic America, and works as a spannermonkey in the local garage. Other townspeople include friendly South American immigrants, a sparkly eyed old doctor (Robert Duvall) who loves George as the son he never had, an overweight African-American amateur radio enthusiast (Forest Whitaker), who has never had a girlfriend, and a single mom who constantly rebuffs George's playful advances because she refuses to get hurt in a relationship again.

All of these characters are pleasant enough, and the audience soon understands that these are Ordinary, Good Folk, and George is a Nice Guy.

The film gets underway properly on the evening of George's thirty seventh birthday celebrations at the local bar. Somewhat merry from the night's drinking, he spots a bright light in the sky above, which explodes and knocks him to the ground. His friends all laugh when he tells him, but they won't be laughing for long...

George you see, underwent a radical change when he saw that light, and soon finds his brain more active than it has ever been. Barely sleeping, he begins to think about everything, devouring several books a day. Soon he has progressed beyond rote learning, and solutions to problems and ideas for inventions occupy his every waking moment.

If this wasn't enough, he starts to develop ESP powers, detecting earthquakes before they happen and even mastering telekinesis.

His friends are unsure what to think (he wisely keeps his telekinesis a secret) but things really come to a head when a local Portugese boy goes missing with suspected food poisoning. The whole town turns out to try and find him, but George uses empathy to track him down, and then utilises awesome Yoda-like powers to rip the front off a shack to expose the ladder that leads to the sick child (this was just showing off - he could have just said, "he's in that shack").

It's at about this time that the interesting premise of the film starts to get bogged down by increasingly heavy handed film making, with each point being forcefully slapped across the face of the audience. Yes, we understand that George is superhuman, and the townspeople are not so much grateful as fearful and jealous - and the media reporters ask all the wrong questions and completely fail to let George help them in any way. (This is perhaps some kind of reference to whether America would be open to the return of Christ, but thankfully they don't dwell on this theme for too long.)

The film does have one twist though, in that once George's brain is scanned a terrible tumour is dicovered spreading through his brain like a diseased squid. This neatly explains the bright lights he saw, and could also explain his improved cognitive abilities. The major drawback to the tumour though is that it will kill him in a matter of days.

An evil brain surgeon (played by Data from Star Trek) tries to coerce George into getting sliced open early so that mankind might benefit from knowledge of the tumour, but George understandably legs it and does what any real man would do, cashing in on his death sentence by getting the single mom to sleep with him.

So, there isn't really too much of the film left now - George croaks shortly afterwards, leaving behind copious notes on alternative fuels, super-efficient engines etc etc for mankind to puzzle over for the next century or so. Before dying though, he looks after his best friend Nate (the radio geek) by setting him up with the Portugese kid's mum, and telling him to use his recently invented fertiliser and plant corn in the dead field that it's impossible to grow corn in.

The film should really have ended now, and if it had, this review wouldn't have such a scathing tone - but the final scene is the most unsubtle of all. Not only do we see Nate ecstatically happy in a field of golden corn, we have to see him harvesting the stuff and taking it in a twee basket to the one year anniversary memorial party for George. Of course he has the Portugese lady in tow with him, and we can see she is clearly pregnant - so do we really need the other woman to put her head to her belly and make some comment about the baby kicking? I mean, seriously - do they really think audiences are that stupid?

Anyway, this movie is probably worth a watch under the right circumstances. Say, you're on a long haul flight to New Zealand or something (and your in-flight entertainment is stuck on the "twee and sickly sweet" setting). The premise is quite interesting, although if the idea of super-intelligence appeals to you then you'd be far better advised to read the science fiction classic, "Flowers for Algernon".

Memorable moments:

- the hilariously awful love scene between Travolta and Kyra Sedgwick, where she tries to shave him in a sensuous manner. The lack of chemistry between the two actors is palpable, making the scene laugh-out-loud funny
- the desperately bad acting displayed by Travolta, when he has to find the lost Portugese boy by empathising with his food poisoning. Cue the ridiculous sight of Travolta trying to look in pain and caring at the same time as clutching his belly and staggering about.
- the cringe-worthy scene where Travolta force feeds cute kids an apple to make some wooly point that we're all inter-connected on the planet (followed by lots of meaningful shots of trees).

Quote that sums up how cheesy this flick becomes:

George Malley (once he realises he only has days to live): "Hey, would you, uh, love me the rest of my life?"
Single mom he's trying to elicit a sympathy shag from: "No. I'm gonna love you for the rest of mine!"