Written by Old Bluffer 11th Aug 2009
Spoiler Warning: this review reveals the plot of a new and rather stylish horror film. I'd advise only reading it after watching the movie.
We were rather hopeful when we saw the trailer for Orphan, as we do like a good Creepy Kid Horror here at the MDDB. We especially liked the line "There's Something Wrong With Esther...", which I maintain would be a better title than "Orphan" - oh well.
The premise of the movie is very simple - the Colemans, a well to do couple, with two happy children, suffer a miscarriage and decide to give the love they felt for their unborn child to someone who needs it. A lovely, heart warming sentiment - but this is a Horror Film, so we all know they are going to bitterly regret such do-gooder emotions.
Things move along nicely and we are soon at an orphanage run by nuns, filled with dozens of adorable, contented little urchin girls. Any one of them would make a perfect picture princess, but the numbskull husband has to go wandering up to the upper floor, where he finds Esther, all alone.
To be fair, Esther is charming and confident. Rather suspiciously so in fact for a nine year old, and when the hapless hubbie asks about her (remarkably good) paintings, he is well and truly caught in her trap. Spinning him an utterly beguiling tale about a lioness dreaming about her lost cubs, she daubs the cute little felines in the background, whilst beaming at him with perfect teeth, telling him they are all now one happy family. Even her mild Russian accent is endearing, and it is clear that this is a gifted child.
Completely smitten, he introduces her to his wife, and they soon both fall in love with the prodigious, well spoken young girl.
While Esther manipulates them with ease, Sister Abigail looks on with a troubled expression...
It is no surprise when the Colemans sign the necessary paperwork and bring Esther back to their rather extravagant home. It is here that Esther meets her step-sibling, Daniel, an unremarkable boy on the cusp of puberty, and Max, a ridiculously adorable little toddler, rendered even more "bless!" by the scriptwriters as she is deaf.
Esther soon slips into the role of dutiful daughter and sister, quickly learning fluent sign language, causing Max to look upon her with awe.
All is not entirely well however, but it's difficult for the family to pinpoint what it is. As we said earlier, "there's something wrong with Esther".
Little things like her having uncharacteristic tantrums if anybody touches her ribbons, the quaint period dresses she insists on wearing, and the cold way she mashes a dying pigeon with a brick to put it out of its misery...
Things come to a head when a bullying girl at the school (who likened Esther to Little Bo Peep, which was actually rather witty for a nine year old) makes the mistake of climbing into an adventure play house when Esther is in the vicinity. Esther shoves her out, hard, and she breaks her ankle (learning that mocking the dress sense of strange East European girls is not good for your health).
Tensions are raised, and Sister Abigail from the orphanage is told there are some "problems". The suspicious nun has been doing some research of her own though, and travels to the house herself to warn the Colemans that accidents to other people seem to follow Esther wherever she goes. Not the least of which is the fate of her last foster family, who died by house fire caused by arson. Given that the Coleman's house appears to be made entirely of wood, this can't be welcome news to them...
Esther overhears this conversation, and decides drastic Anti-Nun action must be taken.
Enlisting Max as an unwitting accomplice, Esther stakes out the snowy road that she knows Abigail must leave by, and when she spies the nun-mobile, she hurls Max straight in front of the vehicle. Swerving wildly, the doomed Sister crashes into a snowdrift and Esther is soon on top of her, armed with a hammer, which she puts to good use with a sickening bash to the skull (a shame she didn't put the boot in, as that would have been a rare opportunity to use a "kicking the habit" joke)
Max, who can't be much older than five years, is understandably pretty traumatised by these events, but worse is to come. Esther forces the wee girl to help drag Abigail off the side of the road, when the nun suddenly regains consciousness. This time Esther makes no mistake, stoving in her face and head with horrific violence.
The diminuitive Russian girl then hides the body in the snow as best she can, and stows all her incriminating bloodied clothes and hammer in Daniel's Tree House.
The police soon find Sister Abigail's frozen, battered body, but only Kate Coleman initially suspects the truth...