Written by Old Bluffer 3rd Nov 2006

Bernard the Landlord has had a thoroughly miserable time during this film. Tormented by the irritating Dennis Cooper, he went into a wild rage and was arrested by the king's guards. During the fracas, Dennis escaped, leading the King to find Bernard guilty of cannibalism! Apparently this crime carries a sentence of two days in a dungeon, because soon Bernard is freed and immediately returns home to the love of his life, Betty.

Now throughout the film, he has suspected Betty to be getting boned by Ethel the Squire (who is a man, despite the name). He therefore arrives home fully expecting to see the hated squire in Betty's bed.

Ethel is too crafty to be caught in such a compromising fashion though, and hides under the bed.
Betty soon calms Bernard down, and things grow rather heated. From the under-the-bed vantage point we can see filthy peasant smocks being removed and can hear some dodgy husky dialogue from Bernard Bresslaw.

Ethel settles in for a long wait, until he realises that Bernard is about to take a flying leap onto Betty.

Ethel the Squire gets his first inkling that he could be in trouble.

By this point it is far too late to do anything, and the huge landlord whaleflops onto the rickety bed, which promptly collapses, crushing Ethel into a pool of blood.


Now that's what I call a bed sore!