Written by Mr. Mouseburger 29th Jun 2005
Donovan is an American who has joined forces with the Nazis to uncover the Holy Grail. They have found the final resting place of the Grail, but have reached an impasse as a series of fiendishly cunning traps keep dispatching his men. Donovan realises his only hope is Jones, but Jones is not prepared to play ball. When Donovan shoots Henry, Indy’s father, Jones realises that only the healing power of the grail can save his dad.
Suffice it to say, Jones negotiates his way though the traps and ends up in a room with a centuries old crusader knight and a smorgasbord of grails. Donovan and Elsa have sneakily followed behind Jones and enter the room too. However, the knight explains there is one final puzzle to negotiate. Choosing the real grail bestows eternal life on the drinker; a false grail takes their life away. Donovan is at a loss to choose, but Elsa is supremely confidant and offers to choose for him.
The knight looks after the precious things of the cave
Now, bearing in mind that Jesus was a humble man, born into a poor family it is hard to imagine that the grail would be the emerald, ruby and diamond encrusted gold chalice that Elsa chooses, but Donovan agrees with her choice saying, “this really is the cup of the king of kings”. Donovan puts the chalice into the font and drinks from it.
Anyone who drinks from a stagnant, 700 year old font is bound to feel unwell
At first, nothing appears to happen, then Donovan gasps in pain. We then watch as Donovan ages rapidly and, as he clings on to Elsa, we see him decompose in front of her. Elsa screams in horror at the sight until Jones intervenes and releases Donovan’s grip on her. This results in Donovan’s skeleton being blasted across the room where it smashes to pieces against the wall. Hopefully, he was able to pay off his life insurance rates before he died.
Elsa has a thing for older men, but draws the line at corpses, much to Donovan's dismay
The stoic knight, who has been silent until now, points out the bleeding obvious when he says ”he chose poorly”.