Written by Mr. Mouseburger 22nd Apr 2006

Kindly submitted by The Doctor
Kindly submitted by Kooshmeister

Gates is the parole officer of Eddie Hawkins aka ‘The Hudson Hawk’, who is the world's greatest cat burglar. He is also the one who blackmails Eddie into doing the first job in a world domination plot: the theft of the DaVinci horse sculpture the Sforza from Rutherford's Auction House.

Eddie arrives to deliver the sculpture to Gates and two members of New Jersey's third largest crime family: Cesar and Antony Mario, the Mario Brothers. Gates looks over the Sforza and marvels that they went to all the trouble to get a simple-looking thing. Alfred, an assassin resembling a British butler, comes in. He inspects the Sforza and smashes it over Gates' head.

Among the Sforza pieces, he retrieves a piece of mirrored crystal required to power DaVinci's gold-making machine. Gates, stunned at the smashing of the Sforza and understandably angry at Alfred, gets up, and after a bit of dialogue, tells Alfred "I stuck my neck out for you. Now where's my cut?"

Alfred responds by lifting his arm, whereupon a massive switchblade is ejected from his coat sleeve and into his hand. He swings his arm, and the blade, in a graceful arc towards Gates' throat. Gates' throat is neatly sliced open, some blood spraying onto the shocked Hudson Hawk sitting nearby.


Bleeding to death instantly, Gates collapses. Completely remorseless, Alfred simply remarks, "So much for his cut."