Written by Mr. Mouseburger 5th Nov 2007
Kindly submitted by J. Doe
Flash (ahhhhhhhh-aaahhh) and Barin and Zarkov have split up and the latter need to get to the control room of Mingo City in order to lower the defensive shields and allow Flash (ahhhhhhhh-aaahhh) to crash the war rocket Ajax into the city, saving both Planet Earth and Dale Arden from being enslaved by Emperor Ming the Merciless (q.v) (he achieves the former through a sustained planetary bombardment from a fleet of expensive spaceships, and the latter by marrying her, which probably costs him way more). Now that's some climax to an already action packed film, and you can be assured that Brian May's fretwork is in overdrive mode to accompany the gaudy visuals.
Barin and Zarkov get to the control room only to be confronted by General Kala, a dominatrix who wears a flamethrower ring on her finger. She looks like the type of madam that lives for moments when she can incinerate men with her jewellery, so it's a bit disappointing for her that the range of the jet of flame she can produce is limited to say the least. Barin and Zarkov have no trouble evading it in fact, and with a deft Shatner roll, Barin aims his blaster at Kala and shoots, killing her. However, most creatures on Mongo do not die in a standard way, and sure enough after falling to the ground Kala's corpse melts and black ooze drains out.