Written by Old Bluffer 17th Apr 2007

Written by Mad Movie Mathew

Australian owner of huge multinational Octopus, Rod McCain decides to pay a visit to Marwood Zoo to see if it's performing well (although the real reason he's coming is to shut down the zoo and turn it into a golf course). Prior to this, his son Vince (also played by Kline) had a bit of an issue with 'Bugsy' not shutting up, so much so in fact, he put a gun to 'Bugsy's head... and he still wouldn't shut up. Rod manages to silence 'Bugsy' with a firm punch-to-gut that sends him collapsing to the floor.

Not only has Rod seen this, he also sees Vince's bag of stolen money. This money is very important - it could mean the difference between whether the zoo closes or not. Obviously not the first time he's had to do this, Rod tells Vince he's going to jail. Meanwhile, Rolo and Willa manage to convince Rod to keep the zoo open, stating the money they have is 50% of their target.

Vince, on the other hand, is furious at his father and turns the gun on his own dad. "You don't have the guts to kill your own father", sneers Rod. Vince, desperate, puts the gun to his own temple. Rod cheers Vince on, telling him it would "be a right laugh, you wuss!" Vince can't do it, though. He drops to knees, gun at his side.

'Bugsy' takes it from Vince and gets to his feet. "It's a Beretta Model 44..." he notes. He's cut off when the gun accidently discharges... right square into Rod's head. "You're fired", he murmurs, before farting and collapsing. Unstandably, Rolo is less than pleased at this new development.

"Oh, great... Terrific!" rages Rolo at the stuttering 'Bugsy', in a classic John Cleese rant:

"He decides to keep the zoo open, so you kill him! Brilliant! Well done! Thank you so much, especially for shooting him right between the eyes, so that it doesn't look like an accident. Because the people at Octopus will know that he was coming here to close us down, so there's our motive for murdering him. Stunning! Well, Mr. Brain of Britain, what are we going to tell the police, who are, of course, already on their way here? Another example of the thoroughness of your plan! Go on, I'm all ears. What do you suggest we do with the dead body of the incredibly famous man, who you have just ASSASSINATED? Sorry, I didn't quite catch it... What? What was that? Pop him in the blender?"

With the police coming, the zookeepers decide to hatch a cunning plan to keep the zoo open - have Vince pose as Rod...