Written by Mr. Mouseburger 6th Sep 2006

Kindly submitted by Jack Vallick

Castor Troy is one of the most hip, well-dressed and totally sociopathic terrorists in the world. Along with his younger, naive brother, Pollux, Castor has a large résumé of bombings, killings, hijackings among other assorted requisite bad-guy deeds.

For this reason, FBI Special Agent Sean Archer has been chasing him for years. When Castor tries to shoot Archer and (instead) kills his five-year old son, Archer becomes obsessed with Castor Troy and spends every waking moment hunting him.

He finally gets his chance when, after a long battle of Sean Archer's helicopter versus Castor Troy's 700,000 pound private jet -- he has Castor shot down an airplane hangar’s silo at 20,000 miles-per-hour. This leaves the Middle-East's favourite terrorist playboy technically brain-dead.

Hence, the plotline: before becoming an expensive vegetable, Castor personally planted a massive chemical bomb in the heart of Los Angeles -- nicknamed "Simone." In ten days, it will explode and kill thousands of innocent people. Only one other person knows the location, Pollux, who is so paranoid that he won't even mention it to anyone but his big brother. An experimental surgical process has been considered by the CIA, which would take Castor Troy's face and place it on another person.

They figure that nobody's better than the son-less father-cum-FBI Underboss who happened to obsess over every tick and mannerism of said terrorist for the past three years.

So Archer undergoes the process and becomes Castor Troy. He quickly discovers the location of the bomb when a problem arises: the REAL Castor Troy has come out of his coma, donned Sean Archer's face, and killed everyone who knew about the switch.

Soon enough, both begin taking on the others life. Castor (as Archer) plays husband and father to his family. Archer (as Castor) escapes from prison and attempts to recruit some of Castor's cronies, only to discover how deep his friendship to them goes - he has all of his partners killed, too.

After witnessing Archer kill his brother, Pollux, it quickly becomes apparent that Castor no longer wants to live. He murders the big boss of the FBI, solidifying his own power in the ranks, and plans to kill his arch-nemesis at the funeral of the boss.

It is there that Castor springs a trap on Archer. He has recruited some more cronies, and has them hold Archer's family hostage. Meanwhile, Castor's old flame, who witnessed him kill her only brother, confronts them in order to save Archer and his family. A shootout occurs, leading to Castor's split-second decision to flee with his tail between his legs.

Archer chases him to a pier where they shoot it out one, last time. Castor takes off on a speedboat, as Archer follows him furiously. Castor tries to use Jamie, Archer's daughter, as a bargaining-chip, only to suffer a stabbing in his thigh from the butterfly-knife he gave her earlier for self-defence. They resume the fight, eventually both landing on the same speedboat. They swerve to miss an oncoming tanker and end up colliding with the shore.

Archer and Castor are both flung through the air in slow-motion. They land on the ground, worn-out and broken, until they find a harpoon-gun that fell from the wrecked speedboat.

Castor fights Archer over it until he is overpowered. Eventually, they end up with Castor pinned against a wall, holding the tip of the harpoon-gun to keep it from firing. Sensing the end is near, he uses his last moments to perform one, final act of cruelty. He slices Archer's face which is on him.

Archer kicks him in the balls. Castor releases his hand from the sharp harpoon. And -- KABAM -- Castor Troy becomes the best-dressed shish kebab in L.A. He dies, pinned to the wall from his sternum.

Archer's wife, having been filled in by her husband earlier, contacts his friends in the Bureau and has them find him on the shore. They recognize that's it’s really their colleague underneath and abruptly get in special surgeons to correct the procedure done to him earlier.

Castor Troy is really one of the hammiest villains ever brought to the action fold. It’s a compliment to Nick Cage's skill that he made him so cool in the first half. John Travolta does alright in the second half, but comes off more as a drugged-up Vincent Vega than an arch-terrorist.