Written by Old Bluffer 12th Jun 2009
Written by Kooshmeister
Hank Blaine, who appears during the movie's first segment, Father's Day, is the good-ol-boy husband of Cass, and he couldn't have married into the wrong family any more if he married into the Mansons. Poor Hank, deciding to get away from his squabbling in-laws, steps outside for a cigarette when he notices Aunt Bedelia's car sitting in the driveway with the door hanging open. Shutting the door, he decides to go out looking for the old bat who has been late for dinner for hours. Due to her yearly "ritual" Hank reasons she's in the family cemetary, so that's where he heads.
He finds the foggy boneyard desserted. "Uh, Aunt Bedelia?" he calls out, "Miss Grantham, you around?" Receiving no answer, he ventures further into the graveyard, apparently less interested in finding Bedelia than he is in just exploring a bit. Coming upon the grave of Nathan Grantham, Hank's foot clinks into a bottle of bourbon, left there by Bedelia. Picking it up, he decides what the hell, and takes a sip, only to lose his balance and fall backwards into Nathan's open grave. Unaware of the danger he's in, Hank laughs at his own clumsiness. All humor leaves the situation, however, when he reaches over and finds a human hand sticking out of the dirt, and, to his shock, he pulls the corpse of Bedelia over onto himself.
Things are about to get a lot worse for poor Hank. The tombstone looming over him shifts on its pedestal ominously. Hank freezes, and before he can even think about moving, a shadow falls over him and he looks up to see the undead, rotting form of Nathan Grantham standing over the open grave! What happens next is open to interpretation, but for all intents and purposes it appears as if Nathan reaches out with his hands and uses hitherto unseen (and never seen again) undead zombie powers to mentally pull the headstone off its pedestal inch by inch until it falls down into the grave and lands on top of Hank, squashing him.
Nathan laughs, then turns and begins trudging off towards the mansion. He's got a cake to get and a few more relatives to do away with.
