Written by Mr. Mouseburger 12th Jan 2007
Kindly submitted by DeMan
After a huge brawl that spills out of the Western film set entirely and crosses into the Hollywood studio, the heroic sheriff, Bart, finally corners the murderous, land-swindling politician Hedley (NOT Hedy!) Lamarr outside Grauman's Chinese Theatre. Bart challenges Hedley to a one-on-one showdown, ordering him to go for his guns.
Hedley pleads: "Wait, wait! I'm unarmed!"
True to his code of honour, Bart puts down his gun, saying "All right, we'll settle it like men...with our fists."
Hedley replies, "Sorry, I just remembered...I AM armed." With that, he pulls a pistol from under his coat and fires a shot, but misses as Bart dives to recover his gun. Bart returns fire, hitting Hedley in the family jewels. Youch!!
As he sinks to his knees, Hedley is distracted from his death throes when he notices Douglas Fairbanks' footprints in the cement side walk. Pondering "how did he do such fantastic stunts with such little feet?" He then falls face-first into a square of wet cement.
The camera cuts over to Bart as his buddy (Gene Wilder) congratulates him on shooting the bad guy then it cuts back to Hedley lying dead on the side walk, having written his name in the cement as his dying act.