Written by Mr. Mouseburger 28th Jun 2006

Kindly submitted by Mad Movie Mathew

Austin Powers has followed Number Two into the toilets of a Las Vegas casino. He is soon joined by a loud Texas man, who sits in the cubicle to the left of Austin. "Have a good one," he tells Austin.

As Austin gets settled into business, the wall behind Austin slides up (I wasn't aware this was a design feature of any toilet, but I must be mistaken) to reveal Patty O'Brien, one of Dr. Evil's assassins, who promptly attempts to strangle Austin with his 'Lucky Charms' (it is his trademark weapon of choice, a bracelet - sickos!). Austin manages to block his neck just in time.

Hearing Austin's struggling, the man confuses it with a rather nasty case of extreme constipation and begins to give words of comfort such as "you gotta relax, don't force it; gonna blow out an o-ring and, drop a lung!". Austin gets raised from the seat by Patty, in an attempt to get his bracelet past Austin's fingers. This proves to be a bad idea, as Austin delivers a backwards head butt, dazing Patty, before grabbing Patty and putting his head down the toilet.

His choice of interrogation question is a double entendre par excellance, "Who does Number Two work for?" he repeatedly asks Patty, while continuing to hold his head down the toilet. The man chimes in, "right, buddy, you show that turd who's boss!" Confusing Patty's choking for something else he offers the friendly advice of "just grab a hold of something, bit your lip and give it hell", before the encouraging "we're gonna get through this!"

As Patty's choking increases, the man recommends "a courtesy flush" because "that sounds pretty nasty". Austin promptly gives the toilet a flush, drowning Patty, as the 'Lucky Charms' fall to the floor.

Exiting the toilet, the man sees Patty's head down the toilet. "Jesus Christ, boy! What did you eat!?" he asks with a smirk.