Written by Old Bluffer 26th Nov 2007
Written by Mr. Briggs Inc.
After escaping from Leo Bain's psychiatric haven, paranoid Vietnam vet Frank Hawkes and his comrades seek to destroy their new doctor, Dan Potter who they believe killed their old doctor and now has it out for them. The psychopaths (Okay, not really psychopaths, medically speaking) locate the doc through a letter addressed to his house, but need a good excuse to pay them a visit. Whilst traveling the streets in a van stolen from an unnamed looter, they find a happy little mail carrier on a bicycle. Apparently not too uneasy about murdering an American civil servant, Hawkes sees the innocent and says that he "wants the hat".
Frank begins to unsurreptitiously follow the man, an insane smile on his face, a smile mirrored by Byron "Preacher" Sutcliffe, who is equally peachy about breaking two commandments (Ronald Elster, seated between the two, looks more hungry than anything). The carrier, noticing something awry, speeds up, as does the van. A small chase ensues, and the trio barely miss crushing the bicycle before the mail carrier swerves out of the way, almost crashing on his face.
The van stops, and out of the window pops Sutcliffe, laughing like a hyena. The mailman, seemingly barely phased by this odd tailgating, simply asks "What are you, some kind of asshole?" Byron responds with a very sinful, toothy grin and another sharp laugh before retreating back into the van and Hawkes, his head in a disappointed slump, begins to drive off.
The mailman, only mildly flustered by this, re-mounts his bike, and is about to continue on his happy way, when Hawkes punches down the gas, puts the van in reverse and smashes directly into the blue bike, punting the mailman a few feet in the air and a few yards on to some family's lawn! I suppose everyone is still fast asleep at this time as no one seems to mind the dead man lying still outside, nor do they notice the escaped preacher plundering the mailman's hat from the ground.